Here is a nice song detailing RA life. It's pretty accurate.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Thoughts on Answering the Door
Even when an RA isn't on call/duty, they are obligated to answer their door when there's a knock. This happens usually around 50 percent of the time you have just gotten into bed for a nap. RA's are not about to wake up from their delicious nap to get up and deal with an issue. The resident can go find another way to solve their problem.
This may sound selfish and as if RAs are shirking their duty, but if you got woken up to go unlock residents door because he left his ID inside and doesn't want to bother his roommates, you'd be pissed, too. Or maybe they interrupted you trying to submit an assignment on time that your procrastination had pushed you close to the deadline for, but their interruption made you late. That's another reason to get angry.
In addition, residents who knock at the door like church-mice are possibly (though, again, no research has been done in this area) more obnoxious than the door kickers. At least the church mice are polite though.
So to sum up this short little rant, don't bother me! Go find the on-call RA or DON'T FORGET YOUR ID.
This may sound selfish and as if RAs are shirking their duty, but if you got woken up to go unlock residents door because he left his ID inside and doesn't want to bother his roommates, you'd be pissed, too. Or maybe they interrupted you trying to submit an assignment on time that your procrastination had pushed you close to the deadline for, but their interruption made you late. That's another reason to get angry.
In addition, residents who knock at the door like church-mice are possibly (though, again, no research has been done in this area) more obnoxious than the door kickers. At least the church mice are polite though.
So to sum up this short little rant, don't bother me! Go find the on-call RA or DON'T FORGET YOUR ID.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Beauty School Drop Out, Go Back to High School
I feel as if, in my more recent posts, I have given the impression that being an RA is a breeze and any Joe Schmo off the streets can handle it. This may or may not be true, research is still being conducted. Nonetheless, the job comes with many stresses that a lot of new RAs are unprepared for. Its a big responsibility for a 19 year old to shoulder. So every now and then RAs will drop out, quit, or transfer. Recently, drop out rates have been soaring. Newbs and Veteran RAs alike have been laying plans to desert come the semester's close. In fact, the freshman building Cloudyskies is losing 5 of 8 staff. All veterans. This type of desertion is unprecedented and HRL is put upon to discover a solution.
Short term, HRL should look to fill the positions with the trained available alternates and then re-hire departed staff. In the long term, the department should determine the factors causing this and work to alleviate the issues. Its important to look at the demographics of the students leaving. The majority of the RAs who quit work in freshman buildings. The RAs are often working under a new supervisor, and the building is usually in poor repair. HRL should recognize this as a opportunity to better their training. They should offer more specialized training for RAs who are governing the freshman students because they require a more delicate touch than upperclassmen. They should see a greater need for HD's/GA's to bond or work with their staff before opening. Familiarity, in our case, breeds comfort. And lastly they should take away that building in poor repair causes unhappiness, and unhappy students fuck shit up further, making a reasonable repair plan impossible. Learn some upkeep!
Basically, I just wanted to call to your attention that while sometimes you hate RAs, sometimes RAs hate themselves. This job is crazy.
Short term, HRL should look to fill the positions with the trained available alternates and then re-hire departed staff. In the long term, the department should determine the factors causing this and work to alleviate the issues. Its important to look at the demographics of the students leaving. The majority of the RAs who quit work in freshman buildings. The RAs are often working under a new supervisor, and the building is usually in poor repair. HRL should recognize this as a opportunity to better their training. They should offer more specialized training for RAs who are governing the freshman students because they require a more delicate touch than upperclassmen. They should see a greater need for HD's/GA's to bond or work with their staff before opening. Familiarity, in our case, breeds comfort. And lastly they should take away that building in poor repair causes unhappiness, and unhappy students fuck shit up further, making a reasonable repair plan impossible. Learn some upkeep!
Basically, I just wanted to call to your attention that while sometimes you hate RAs, sometimes RAs hate themselves. This job is crazy.
Personality Typing
It takes a special kind person to be RA. In fact, the type of people that become RA's are so special, you could basically classify them all in the categories listed below.
The Attention Whore - these types make the worst RAs. They have some complex where having an entire hallway forced to listen, agree, and follow commands is a craving they need to feel. Think of it like a boss considering his workers to be both servant and built in friends. RAs classified as such often give trust too easily to resident's (creating to many fresidents) by partying with them and letting them off the hook. This bites them in the ass when they ultimately and inevitably get taken advantage of.
The Townie - these RAs are most often native to our beloved state. They see being an RA as an escape from living at home and an opportunity to make some money while they're at it. Usually, these are some of the more normal RA's (as normal as natives can be) but they are never around because their entire town goes to HC and they are off gallavanting with them.
The Financially Dependent - sometimes this type will overlap with "the Townie". These RAs couldn't care less about the job or the community building etc., but they need the money. Temperament with these kids is the most varied because they may rigidly enforce rules to keep their employment safe or they may let the chaos reign because they are only in it for the money.
The Power-Hungry - This asshole is probably one of the worst RAs you can get. Their motivations for becoming an RA may have other sources, but their joy in the job comes from having absolute control over their residents life. Think of these kids as little Fidels-in-training. Most often these RAs will reside strictly in freshman dorms where they are more likely to maintain power over froshies and have no gainsay against them.
The Resume Builder - We all know our fair share of over achievers, and the RA community is no exception. This type will push all the goals of RAs such as programming, community building, etc. Some students may chafe at having such an actively (possibly overwhelmingly so) RA, but ulitimately they will benefit from this type. This type is also seen most often in freshman buildings, as they find the apathy of upperclassmen discouraging.
The Others - these RAs are miscellaneous. They probably have become RAs because the job is fairly easy with excellent pay and guaranteed housing. They sort of float all over and are usually the perfect mix of laid back and disciplined.
There are of course RAs that can't be categorized so easily, or perhaps are a bit of several of the described types. But for the most part, this list can pin down your RA's personality perfectly.
The Attention Whore - these types make the worst RAs. They have some complex where having an entire hallway forced to listen, agree, and follow commands is a craving they need to feel. Think of it like a boss considering his workers to be both servant and built in friends. RAs classified as such often give trust too easily to resident's (creating to many fresidents) by partying with them and letting them off the hook. This bites them in the ass when they ultimately and inevitably get taken advantage of.
The Townie - these RAs are most often native to our beloved state. They see being an RA as an escape from living at home and an opportunity to make some money while they're at it. Usually, these are some of the more normal RA's (as normal as natives can be) but they are never around because their entire town goes to HC and they are off gallavanting with them.
The Financially Dependent - sometimes this type will overlap with "the Townie". These RAs couldn't care less about the job or the community building etc., but they need the money. Temperament with these kids is the most varied because they may rigidly enforce rules to keep their employment safe or they may let the chaos reign because they are only in it for the money.
The Power-Hungry - This asshole is probably one of the worst RAs you can get. Their motivations for becoming an RA may have other sources, but their joy in the job comes from having absolute control over their residents life. Think of these kids as little Fidels-in-training. Most often these RAs will reside strictly in freshman dorms where they are more likely to maintain power over froshies and have no gainsay against them.
The Resume Builder - We all know our fair share of over achievers, and the RA community is no exception. This type will push all the goals of RAs such as programming, community building, etc. Some students may chafe at having such an actively (possibly overwhelmingly so) RA, but ulitimately they will benefit from this type. This type is also seen most often in freshman buildings, as they find the apathy of upperclassmen discouraging.
The Others - these RAs are miscellaneous. They probably have become RAs because the job is fairly easy with excellent pay and guaranteed housing. They sort of float all over and are usually the perfect mix of laid back and disciplined.
There are of course RAs that can't be categorized so easily, or perhaps are a bit of several of the described types. But for the most part, this list can pin down your RA's personality perfectly.
All Access Pass
Considering the last post on hypocrisy and abuse of power, you might be beginning to feel wary of your RA's capabilities. Sit tight because you are about to get a lot more uncomfortable. Did you know RA's have access to literally everything about any student on campus? And I am not speaking solely about physical access. Though it is true that our ID's get us into any building, and by extension access to every RA office on campus provides all the master keys for rooms and apartments. The physical access is nothing compared to the information available in the computer records about your school life. With just your last name, I could look up your ID number, where you live (and where you have lived), how to contact your parents, any past disputes you may have had, your roommates, tuition bill information (payment amounts and dates, etc.), and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Nervous to have your information so public? You should be. I have the access myself and it makes me anxious. One reason being that the information is not only viewable, but changeable. Take into consideration all your interactions with HC staff. Yea. Fuck.
Nervous to have your information so public? You should be. I have the access myself and it makes me anxious. One reason being that the information is not only viewable, but changeable. Take into consideration all your interactions with HC staff. Yea. Fuck.
Thoughts on Hypocrisy
Often times on a write-up, a resident will stammer out protests, most commonly including the accusation of R.A.'s also partying. This is argument is always ignored, but never invalid.
Being an R.A. is truly the ultimate conflict of interests. On the one hand, being a college student, the desire to rage and be irresponsible is almost undeniable. On the other hand, however, being an R.A. requires a ridiculous amount of self-discipline and control, as well as an internalized sense of responsibility. I say 'internalized' because while R.A.'s have a laundry list of people they are accountable to, the monitoring done by those on the list is minimal at best. The truth is, R.A.'s run entire buildings of 300+ students on a day to day basis with limited restrictions and few outside constraints.
That may sound like a a dramatic claim, but it is truthful and actual. You might call to mind some Toby Mcguire (or Peter Parker for those hardcore comic fans), "with great power comes great responsibility". Well, there's also a heavy temptation to abuse that power. I would say almost 90 percent of R.A.'s take advantage of their superiority. When you have access to every room, every closet, the roof, the basement, and there is no one in sight that can rebuke you for your actions, its hard to resist. And put yourself in our situation: when half the student population hates you for ruining their fun and seem to have a knack for making your life miserable, your boss assigns foolish busy work and requires you to run elaborate programs with no funds, the typical R.A. feels put upon. Whether or not they actually are is not the debate in question.
So, yes, to answer your accusations upset and drunk resi, we are hypocrites. But you got caught for fucking around so suck it up and be quieter next time.
Being an R.A. is truly the ultimate conflict of interests. On the one hand, being a college student, the desire to rage and be irresponsible is almost undeniable. On the other hand, however, being an R.A. requires a ridiculous amount of self-discipline and control, as well as an internalized sense of responsibility. I say 'internalized' because while R.A.'s have a laundry list of people they are accountable to, the monitoring done by those on the list is minimal at best. The truth is, R.A.'s run entire buildings of 300+ students on a day to day basis with limited restrictions and few outside constraints.
That may sound like a a dramatic claim, but it is truthful and actual. You might call to mind some Toby Mcguire (or Peter Parker for those hardcore comic fans), "with great power comes great responsibility". Well, there's also a heavy temptation to abuse that power. I would say almost 90 percent of R.A.'s take advantage of their superiority. When you have access to every room, every closet, the roof, the basement, and there is no one in sight that can rebuke you for your actions, its hard to resist. And put yourself in our situation: when half the student population hates you for ruining their fun and seem to have a knack for making your life miserable, your boss assigns foolish busy work and requires you to run elaborate programs with no funds, the typical R.A. feels put upon. Whether or not they actually are is not the debate in question.
So, yes, to answer your accusations upset and drunk resi, we are hypocrites. But you got caught for fucking around so suck it up and be quieter next time.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Thoughts on Complainers
Do you have a problem in your room you would like fixed? Excellent, we'd love to help. Unless you're a complaining whiner, then, get the fuck out. Honestly? Does anyone anywhere respond positively to droning whine used by obnoxious snobs? I don't think so, and although I don't have research to back up my hypothesis, I'd say 76.94% of people want to smack complainers across the face.Now that I've finished ranting, I'd like to turn this post into a more helpful piece. When going to ask your RA for help, keep these few points in mind:
- Know where you live. Should I even have to say that?? When I go to report your issue and ask you what room you live in, I shouldn't receive a blank stare, that's absolutely ridiculous.
- Know what you're talking about. Don't come to us with some vague idea of what the problem is. We can't report that. Figure out exactly what's wrong as best you can, then let us know.
- Be polite. Don't whine, but don't demand. We treat you with courtesy and expect the same in return.
- Don't reference what your friends have told you. They're wrong.
- Don't tell us we're wrong. We're not.
- If an RA tells you that you need to go somewhere else to get help, don't get upset. We aren't COSTCO, and the office isn't a full service store. We're limited.
- Recognize that we're students with our own worries and workloads, too. Being at an entire building beck and call 24/7 isn't exactly a walk in the park. We'll help you as best we can, but sometimes we don't have all the answers.
Golden Rule: You don't have to grovel to your RA like those kids. Just be polite.
RA terminology
Sometimes, when I walk into a restaurant, I hear all sorts of ridiculous names being parlayed back and forth between waiter and cook. I am so jealous of their pseudo-language. But then again, any specialty work develops specific slang in relation to the work. Listed below are some terms that are common usage for HRL (HRL?? See below) employees, but greek to everyone else.
HRL - Housing and Residential Life - basically the "powers that be" to RA's; our employer and ultimate authority
RESI - short for "resident", may refer to a resident of the building or more specifically, that RA's hallway/section
SISTER BUILDING/Building Pair - every building is paired with one other, in hopes of spurring more community building. Each building pair has one GA and one HD living in either of the halls.
HD - Housing Director - this person is in charge of two buildings (a building pair). They relay orders to the second in command (GA) and basically run one building and intervene with the other to handle extreme circumstances.
GA (sometimes GAHD) - Graduate Assistant Hall Director - this position is open to grad school applicants. While the HD position is indefinite, GA positions are limited to two years. GA's run one of the two sister buildings and defer to the HD on greater matters.
ON-CALL - This is when an RA must stay in the building from 8 pm to 7 am. They post a sign with their contact information and take a special phone for emergencies. They are available to students at all hours. RA's must complete "rounds" while on-call. Freshman buildings usually have RA's on call in pairs, but smaller staffs stick to one RA on call.
ROUNDS- This is a circuit of the building made by RA's during on -calls. Ideally, it is to every corner of the building - but let's be honest. RA's use this time to bust up bumpin' parties and rag on drunk assholes.
BACK UP - Exactly what it sounds like. When shit hits the fan, call for back-up.
HENRY - a generic vacuum that all buildings have. It has a face on it. Residents can borrow this if they leave collateral to ensure its return
FRESIDENT - this is a special resident that the RA treats as a friend rather than a resident. This term is usually used to describe a resident that an RA parties with. Beware HUGE conflicts of interest.
HALF- SHEET - Also known as an "incident report", this is the RA's interpretation of what went down. Don't be an ass to the RA because that goes right into it.
WRITE-UP - Caught partying? This is the report RA's must write to explain your shenanigans. They suck and you suck for making us write them.
AC - Alcohol Citation - a special write-up that involves a inherent admission of guilt. Basically, when you're caught, you're caught, and you admit it and pay the fine. It's easier for everyone
Those are just a few terms you might here bandied about in the RA world, I'll add on as I think of them.
HRL - Housing and Residential Life - basically the "powers that be" to RA's; our employer and ultimate authority
RESI - short for "resident", may refer to a resident of the building or more specifically, that RA's hallway/section
SISTER BUILDING/Building Pair - every building is paired with one other, in hopes of spurring more community building. Each building pair has one GA and one HD living in either of the halls.
HD - Housing Director - this person is in charge of two buildings (a building pair). They relay orders to the second in command (GA) and basically run one building and intervene with the other to handle extreme circumstances.
GA (sometimes GAHD) - Graduate Assistant Hall Director - this position is open to grad school applicants. While the HD position is indefinite, GA positions are limited to two years. GA's run one of the two sister buildings and defer to the HD on greater matters.
ON-CALL - This is when an RA must stay in the building from 8 pm to 7 am. They post a sign with their contact information and take a special phone for emergencies. They are available to students at all hours. RA's must complete "rounds" while on-call. Freshman buildings usually have RA's on call in pairs, but smaller staffs stick to one RA on call.
ROUNDS- This is a circuit of the building made by RA's during on -calls. Ideally, it is to every corner of the building - but let's be honest. RA's use this time to bust up bumpin' parties and rag on drunk assholes.
BACK UP - Exactly what it sounds like. When shit hits the fan, call for back-up.
HENRY - a generic vacuum that all buildings have. It has a face on it. Residents can borrow this if they leave collateral to ensure its return
FRESIDENT - this is a special resident that the RA treats as a friend rather than a resident. This term is usually used to describe a resident that an RA parties with. Beware HUGE conflicts of interest.
HALF- SHEET - Also known as an "incident report", this is the RA's interpretation of what went down. Don't be an ass to the RA because that goes right into it.
WRITE-UP - Caught partying? This is the report RA's must write to explain your shenanigans. They suck and you suck for making us write them.
AC - Alcohol Citation - a special write-up that involves a inherent admission of guilt. Basically, when you're caught, you're caught, and you admit it and pay the fine. It's easier for everyone
Those are just a few terms you might here bandied about in the RA world, I'll add on as I think of them.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
On Fire Alarms
If you pull the fire alarm at 2 am on Friday night, I hate you. Period.
There are two types of fire alarms in the upperclassmen apartments. The first is just a "pull" or when someone triggers a fire alarm in the hallway by pulling the emergency switch. This causes alarms to go off in every room in the building and sets off a blaring noise that sounds like Lucifer stuck his foot in a woodchipper. It takes the shortest time to reset though, so most likely, you will only be outside for 15 minutes or so.
The other type is a personal or kitchen fire alarm. These are less intrusive. When you burn something and you set of the alarm, only your section will have the alarms activate. At the same time, it takes the fire department extra time to find out where the alarm is coming from and trek all the way up and assess the situation and deal with it. Annoying and avoidable. Just don't leave shit unattended on your stove. I feel like that should be basic knowledge.
Other notes:
Pulling a fire alarm is stupid. It is punishable by a hefty fine (some thousands of dollars), possible federal charges, almost definite academic suspension, and probably removal from housing. Plus, you're just an asshole if you pull it. Seriously.
Fire proof doors are all the rage these days. The ones in the apartments are supposed to last an hour against flame. But let's remember the real killer is smoke. So take a tip from the sorority girls and drop to your knees (to pray!). Cleaner air is lower.
There are two types of fire alarms in the upperclassmen apartments. The first is just a "pull" or when someone triggers a fire alarm in the hallway by pulling the emergency switch. This causes alarms to go off in every room in the building and sets off a blaring noise that sounds like Lucifer stuck his foot in a woodchipper. It takes the shortest time to reset though, so most likely, you will only be outside for 15 minutes or so.
The other type is a personal or kitchen fire alarm. These are less intrusive. When you burn something and you set of the alarm, only your section will have the alarms activate. At the same time, it takes the fire department extra time to find out where the alarm is coming from and trek all the way up and assess the situation and deal with it. Annoying and avoidable. Just don't leave shit unattended on your stove. I feel like that should be basic knowledge.
Other notes:
Pulling a fire alarm is stupid. It is punishable by a hefty fine (some thousands of dollars), possible federal charges, almost definite academic suspension, and probably removal from housing. Plus, you're just an asshole if you pull it. Seriously.
Fire proof doors are all the rage these days. The ones in the apartments are supposed to last an hour against flame. But let's remember the real killer is smoke. So take a tip from the sorority girls and drop to your knees (to pray!). Cleaner air is lower.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Five OH
There are varying opinions of the police here at HC. The spectrum probably extends from complete and utter asshole to mild asshole. That's a lot of range to choose from. If you are an RA the cops are NOT your friend. They are not helpful and they certainly don't give a fuck.
In certain situations, RAs must call the po-po. One would be a fight or physical altercation of any kind. When they do show up (and believe me, they take their time so the fight is absolutely over) they are usually sauntering in with some smug look on their face practically giddy with shirking their work. Then they might ask five or six completely useless questions (i.e. "Is he actually a faggot?") and then leave. Thanks a fucking lot.
Other times, cops will storm the building on any sort of call. They are usually there on sketchy anonymous tips of pissed-off ex's or annoyed neighbors. Then, since they are not allowed to enter any rooms, they try and force RAs to open doors for them. (We are totally not allowed to do that, unless there is a signed warrant) I cannot count the number of kids I know that have had cops scream in their faces saying things like, "You are enabling abuse, he hits her!!" or "They're ruining lives with that dope they're selling" or my personal favorite "Do you think you can interfere in police business!?". Like they are even real police. Good try, pal.
Maybe there are good cops around, and maybe there are armfulls of people who have had good experiences with them, but I haven't met them and I hope I never do. They are probably full of shit. One thing the general public might want to know is that the campus five oh have been heavily lobbying to be allowed to tote guns. Power-mad, middle-aged crazies ready to fire at the slightest provocation in a area only populated with inebriated adolescents. This will end well.
In certain situations, RAs must call the po-po. One would be a fight or physical altercation of any kind. When they do show up (and believe me, they take their time so the fight is absolutely over) they are usually sauntering in with some smug look on their face practically giddy with shirking their work. Then they might ask five or six completely useless questions (i.e. "Is he actually a faggot?") and then leave. Thanks a fucking lot.
Other times, cops will storm the building on any sort of call. They are usually there on sketchy anonymous tips of pissed-off ex's or annoyed neighbors. Then, since they are not allowed to enter any rooms, they try and force RAs to open doors for them. (We are totally not allowed to do that, unless there is a signed warrant) I cannot count the number of kids I know that have had cops scream in their faces saying things like, "You are enabling abuse, he hits her!!" or "They're ruining lives with that dope they're selling" or my personal favorite "Do you think you can interfere in police business!?". Like they are even real police. Good try, pal.
Maybe there are good cops around, and maybe there are armfulls of people who have had good experiences with them, but I haven't met them and I hope I never do. They are probably full of shit. One thing the general public might want to know is that the campus five oh have been heavily lobbying to be allowed to tote guns. Power-mad, middle-aged crazies ready to fire at the slightest provocation in a area only populated with inebriated adolescents. This will end well.
"Somebody Shit on or Around the Coats Area"
Being an RA include quite a few unsavory duties. Luckily, cleaning up bodily fluids is strictly forbidden. So is using the fire extinguisher they put in our rooms. Clearly some rules are made to be broken. Anyways, once an incident is reported, emergency maintenance comes and handles the rest. Usually, since it almost always in the dead of night, they do a horrible job. Mmm, biohazards. Here's a list of the top five grossest fucking things I've had to report.
Number 5: Mystery Blood
This one actually just happened recently. Residents from another building came looking for an RA because blood kept showing up in their bathroom. Where was it coming from?? No one would fess up, but maintenance said it looked like an episode of "Dexter" in there. Sweet...HIV is awesome.
Number 4: Urine Cola
Ok, so say you are a guy, drunk as hell, and in your bed. Then you realize you have to pee. Apparently, getting out of bed is too much work so you take the empty 2 liter next your bed and piss in that. Beautiful. Then, the next morning you just leave your bottle in the hall or stairwell, or just whereever. It took us weeks to figure out who this asshole was.
Number 3: Vom.com
Sometimes you just can't make it to the bathroom. Sometimes you can, but you'd rather projectile vomit over the entire 10 feet of mirrored wall. It's all about preference.
Number 2: Peeing on the Go
This one was actually both hilarious and digusting. Someone had been peeing in the stairwells, and it was smelling terribly, but we couldn't figure out why until this night. I come around the corner and see some drunk freshie, pants around his ankles, peeing in the corner. He sees me, clipboard and on-call phone in hand, and books it down the hall, still peeing, pants around his ankles. I didn't have the heart to chase him. That and I was too busy laughing hysterically. Oh don't worry, he tripped.
Number 1: What the FUCK
Someone shit in the hall. Just in the middle, human feces. It wasn't my hall but damn! That's horrible. And honestly, how did no one see this mystery person just pooping for 20 or so minutes (trust. they needed at least that much time.) right in the middle of the hall!? Disgusting.
Number 5: Mystery Blood
This one actually just happened recently. Residents from another building came looking for an RA because blood kept showing up in their bathroom. Where was it coming from?? No one would fess up, but maintenance said it looked like an episode of "Dexter" in there. Sweet...HIV is awesome.
Number 4: Urine Cola
Ok, so say you are a guy, drunk as hell, and in your bed. Then you realize you have to pee. Apparently, getting out of bed is too much work so you take the empty 2 liter next your bed and piss in that. Beautiful. Then, the next morning you just leave your bottle in the hall or stairwell, or just whereever. It took us weeks to figure out who this asshole was.
Number 3: Vom.com
Sometimes you just can't make it to the bathroom. Sometimes you can, but you'd rather projectile vomit over the entire 10 feet of mirrored wall. It's all about preference.
Number 2: Peeing on the Go
This one was actually both hilarious and digusting. Someone had been peeing in the stairwells, and it was smelling terribly, but we couldn't figure out why until this night. I come around the corner and see some drunk freshie, pants around his ankles, peeing in the corner. He sees me, clipboard and on-call phone in hand, and books it down the hall, still peeing, pants around his ankles. I didn't have the heart to chase him. That and I was too busy laughing hysterically. Oh don't worry, he tripped.
Number 1: What the FUCK
Someone shit in the hall. Just in the middle, human feces. It wasn't my hall but damn! That's horrible. And honestly, how did no one see this mystery person just pooping for 20 or so minutes (trust. they needed at least that much time.) right in the middle of the hall!? Disgusting.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Us versus Them
So everyone remembers being a freshman in the dorms, and there were these things called programs going on fairly often. The purpose of these programs, especially in freshman buildings, is to garner a feeling of community. OHKAY. The only people who come to these programs are kids who are a) already drunk b) stoned and hungry for free food c) trying to get out of their room because they live with some weirdo or godforbid d) there is actually an interesting program happening. That last one is less rare than commonly thought.
Why is community so important to the powers that be? I am sure there are 1000 legit reasons proven by some study somewhere that communities are healthier enviornments. They probably are. But, when it comes down to it, fuck community. It is going to be RAs versus residents, us versus them.
RAs live in a weird state where they are surrounded by irresponsible peers that they must tend to. Imagine if you were a teenage shepard and your entire flock of sheep was tripping face on acid. Like that. So for the majority of the time, you want to befriend your flock, asking politely and being courteous. But when the shit hits the fan, you better bet that flock will go stock raving mad on your ass and you best have someone to back you up. This is why RAs stick together, to fend off mad acid goats. Or sheep. Or whatever that horrible metaphor was.
Oh! I've thought of a better metaphor. Soldiers in an occupied war zone. Yup. So when you are there, you want to make friends with the locals, and you hope for the best. But when the revolt occurs, you know your army buddies are covering you with the bazooka.
Anyways, enough metaphors. Basically, what I am trying to say is, your RA is not your friend. Unless they are. Exceptions to the rule happen, you know.
Why is community so important to the powers that be? I am sure there are 1000 legit reasons proven by some study somewhere that communities are healthier enviornments. They probably are. But, when it comes down to it, fuck community. It is going to be RAs versus residents, us versus them.
RAs live in a weird state where they are surrounded by irresponsible peers that they must tend to. Imagine if you were a teenage shepard and your entire flock of sheep was tripping face on acid. Like that. So for the majority of the time, you want to befriend your flock, asking politely and being courteous. But when the shit hits the fan, you better bet that flock will go stock raving mad on your ass and you best have someone to back you up. This is why RAs stick together, to fend off mad acid goats. Or sheep. Or whatever that horrible metaphor was.
Oh! I've thought of a better metaphor. Soldiers in an occupied war zone. Yup. So when you are there, you want to make friends with the locals, and you hope for the best. But when the revolt occurs, you know your army buddies are covering you with the bazooka.
Anyways, enough metaphors. Basically, what I am trying to say is, your RA is not your friend. Unless they are. Exceptions to the rule happen, you know.
In our own little world-
Although I can't directly compare, I'd imagine being an RA is like being heavily involved in greek life, where separate buildings are different fraternities and sororities. Just like greek life, buildings are arranged in pairs (according to location and style). Also, during the application process, you must go to several rounds of interviews and a social, and then you receive one bid that you may accept or decline from one building. And after a few years of working the job, you pretty much know every other RA.
Another similarity to greek life is that the different dorms each have their own reputation of people they will hire. Just like greeks want to make sure you can party, the HD (Hall Director) wants to make sure you can handle what goes down in their neck of campus. The following list will include each residence hall, their RA type, and why they need that type. Rated PG for posterity.
Freshman (Underclassmen) Buildings-
Life in these buildings vary.
--It might be that your building is filled with all "Undecided" majors. In which case your RA will most likely be a hardass that is on your shit all day. But don't stress, this is because you are probably in a building with kids with no ambition and only time to kill. Hello saranwrap.
--Or it might be that your building has all academically oriented majors, such as nursing or engineering. These building are usually nicer, because the college knows kids won't mess things up. In an instance such as this your RA will be timid and have no life. Probably because there is no need for discipline in the building. These buildings also tend to be smaller, which mean less RAs and more time on-call. Shitty.
--You could live in a horrible rundown warehouse. This is entirely possible. The way to check if this is your building: when you walk down your hallway, does it feel like it could be the inside of an insane asylum? If yes, your building sucks. RAs here usually do not give a shit and are lazy as hell. Why bother when some freshie is going to drunkenly mess things up in 5 seconds anyway?
--You might get lucky and live in a middle of the road building. These building are usually a random assignment. If you live here, rejoice! Your RA is probably the perfect mix of mostly gone and around when you need them.
Upperclassmen Dorms-
Ugh.
--These building tend to be horrible. They are old and run down, but usually the sophomores and juniors that live here are too drunk to notice anyway. The people that RA here are wicked chill. Smoking pot and drinking on weeknights? Just keep it down, guys. They don't need to deal with your alcoholism and theirs.
Upperclassmen Apartment Dorms-
Woot! These are lovely! If you live here, congrats, you either are fantastically connected or play a sport. Please don't light shit on fire in your kitchen, it evacuates the whole building. RAs here are the cream of the crop. There are no newbs in here, everyone knows what they are doing. That being said, they usually aren't around because cool kids live off campus. This is where I work, and while most of the hilarity occurs in Underclassmen housing, there is some quality shenanigans going on around here too.
Graduate Apartments/Alternative Housing
These housing options are for those folks that can't stand the normal hoot and holler of regular residence halls. Graduate housing? Geez, get a real house, you're old! But RAs here are usually just a bit off. Like how you put the misunderstood abstract painting in the back room where no one goes. Alternative housing RAs are super accepting. Just tell them you are going through a sexual identity crisis or something. They don't care, they have their own cook up here.
So that's basically the RA layout, and you can take my opinions for what they're worth. 2600 yen. That's $29.25 American.
Another similarity to greek life is that the different dorms each have their own reputation of people they will hire. Just like greeks want to make sure you can party, the HD (Hall Director) wants to make sure you can handle what goes down in their neck of campus. The following list will include each residence hall, their RA type, and why they need that type. Rated PG for posterity.
Freshman (Underclassmen) Buildings-
Life in these buildings vary.
--It might be that your building is filled with all "Undecided" majors. In which case your RA will most likely be a hardass that is on your shit all day. But don't stress, this is because you are probably in a building with kids with no ambition and only time to kill. Hello saranwrap.
--Or it might be that your building has all academically oriented majors, such as nursing or engineering. These building are usually nicer, because the college knows kids won't mess things up. In an instance such as this your RA will be timid and have no life. Probably because there is no need for discipline in the building. These buildings also tend to be smaller, which mean less RAs and more time on-call. Shitty.
--You could live in a horrible rundown warehouse. This is entirely possible. The way to check if this is your building: when you walk down your hallway, does it feel like it could be the inside of an insane asylum? If yes, your building sucks. RAs here usually do not give a shit and are lazy as hell. Why bother when some freshie is going to drunkenly mess things up in 5 seconds anyway?
--You might get lucky and live in a middle of the road building. These building are usually a random assignment. If you live here, rejoice! Your RA is probably the perfect mix of mostly gone and around when you need them.
Upperclassmen Dorms-
Ugh.
--These building tend to be horrible. They are old and run down, but usually the sophomores and juniors that live here are too drunk to notice anyway. The people that RA here are wicked chill. Smoking pot and drinking on weeknights? Just keep it down, guys. They don't need to deal with your alcoholism and theirs.
Upperclassmen Apartment Dorms-
Woot! These are lovely! If you live here, congrats, you either are fantastically connected or play a sport. Please don't light shit on fire in your kitchen, it evacuates the whole building. RAs here are the cream of the crop. There are no newbs in here, everyone knows what they are doing. That being said, they usually aren't around because cool kids live off campus. This is where I work, and while most of the hilarity occurs in Underclassmen housing, there is some quality shenanigans going on around here too.
Graduate Apartments/Alternative Housing
These housing options are for those folks that can't stand the normal hoot and holler of regular residence halls. Graduate housing? Geez, get a real house, you're old! But RAs here are usually just a bit off. Like how you put the misunderstood abstract painting in the back room where no one goes. Alternative housing RAs are super accepting. Just tell them you are going through a sexual identity crisis or something. They don't care, they have their own cook up here.
So that's basically the RA layout, and you can take my opinions for what they're worth. 2600 yen. That's $29.25 American.
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